On self-confidence & belief

I have confidence in myself. I know I can achieve anything I put my mind to. I believe in myself. I know that perseverance and hard work always pay off. But at the same time, there are times when I always doubt myself. The little anxious me in the back of my head rears her ugly head every so often, causing a few wobbles.

I would say my self-confidence has had its fair share of rocking. But learning to be confident in who you are and what you do is a process, and it isn’t always easy. You can’t just wake up one morning with it. And even when you start to feel more confident in yourself, I think we all have those days when you wake up and just absolutely hate everything you see or feel like you can’t do anything right. It’s okay to doubt yourself sometimes.

But it’s all about striking a balance. It’s acknowledging that you aren’t going to be awesome at everything. It’s acknowledging that your hair isn’t going to look perfect every day or that you might not meet that deadline, or that your anxiety flared up and made you miss a day of work. Everyone has setbacks, big or small, but it’s all about learning from them and using the experience to build yourself up again.

Self-confidence is something you have to grow, to nurture. And it usually doesn’t come easy.

self-confidence

noun

1. a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgement.

Life shakes things up all the time. When you think you’ve got everything sorted and you’ve got your own two feet on the ground, everything goes tends to go topsy-turvy.

Being cheated on very nearly tipped the confidence I had. It was shitty (more on that here) but it was a huge learning curve. Heartbreak teaches you so much about yourself. In the long run, it has made me a much stronger and confident person because I found out that I could be confident and happy on my own, I didn’t need someone else to fulfil that for me.

Although your confidence should come primarily from yourself, I think other people have a lot to do with it too. Spend time with people who lift you up, not bring you down – friends and partners included. After getting my groove back, I started dating and I think it strangely boosted my confidence. It made me realise that yep, I was a catch, and there are people out there who will like you for who you are and if they don’t? Well, that’s okay too.

I’ve learned that your self-worth and confidence always comes from so much more than your appearance. As my favourite quote from Roald Dahl says, “If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” And it is so true.

I used to teach a dance class at university and when we were rehearsing for the annual show, I tried to tell my class that they needed to look sassy and feisty. They were dancing to Christina Aguilera’s ‘Fighter,’ so they needed to really perform it. One girl said she felt silly. But I told her that she just had to own it and go all out, because at the end of the day if you’re the sassiest on stage everyone will be looking at you. If you believe you look sassy as heck, chances are, you probably do.

For me, my confidence comes from knowing what I’m good at. At work, I’m known as the ‘social media queen’ and I love that people always come to me for advice.

I know I am good at blogging, and I know that my writing style has refined itself over the last year or so. I know that I can take awesome photos of food. I know that I can challenge myself and acheive what I put my mind to after getting into university and acing it.

I bet if you wrote down three things you know you’re good at, you might surprise yourself…

Self-confidence is all about having full belief in yourself. And that’s the key: you actually have to believe in yourself. Believe in yourself, and the rest will come.

Speaking of self-confidence, how awesome are these photos? I spent a very sunny but cold Friday morning at Ashridge Estate with the amazing Kaye, whose photography I have absolutely admired for ages. It couldn’t have been a better day to head into the woodland and shoot some enchanting pictures. We found this little swampy location which was a little bit Stranger Things… The setting was just beautiful though and so inspiring. I have two more photo sets to share with you which I absolutely love!

I am heading to New York in just over two weeks and I definitely bought this fur coat purely for the purposes of looking cute strolling the streets. It’s a real gem from ASOS and is so warm. My jumper was a recent find from M&S and again, everyone is so surprised because it’s actually pretty stylish! I love the pearl and beading detail on the sleeves, it makes such a grey jumper all the more interesting.

Photos by Kaye Ford

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