This time last year, was my final week living in Birmingham. I was packing up three years of memories, saying goodbye to people I was unlikely to see again and getting ready to embark on a new chapter. Gradball, society awards, parties… It was all kinds of emotional. I was definitely not ready for my little university bubble to pop.
I went back to Birmingham last weekend to catch up with some friends and it really hit me. I felt so sad when I got back on the train. I miss university. I even miss the essays. I miss my friends being five minutes around the corner. I miss spending Sundays hungover, wrapped up in my blanket on the sofa with my housemates. I miss Birmingham and being in a big city where I could simultaneously disappear and still feel like someone. Every time that train pulls into New Street, I feel like I’m both at home and a complete stranger.
Birmingham holds a heck of a lot of memories. Fun, unadulterated happiness, love, laughter, friendships, mistakes… I have always said that Birmingham felt more like home than Milton Keynes has to me.
But it’s a different kind of home.
I have such a strong sense of belonging there and I think it’s because it is the place I really grew up. It sounds horrendously cliche to say it, but I found out who I was. I became fiercely independent and I formed some of the most treasured friendships, which helped me grow as a person. I was a different person this time four years ago. I am self-assured, more confident, despite all the rubbish I’ve been through in the past six months.
And perhaps that’s why I’m so eager to return, I want to be the person I was then. But the thing is with this thing called life, is that every chapter has its own role to play in the person you become, right? And the past year has been another one of those chapters.
Don’t cry because it’s over
The end of uni hit me like a brick. I felt totally winded after it was all over and I got so caught up in the excitement of those final weeks and my new job that it took a while to sink in. But I’d do it all again in a heartbeat.
When I left sixth form, my head of year told us, ‘Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened’. And this has really stuck with me, especially through something as significant as university.
Because I really did have the time of my life.
But I need to stop hanging onto it like that chapter is going to be reopened. I have the friendships and the memories to cherish from those three years and all those experiences that have made me a wiser person.
So, bring it on, life.
What I’m wearing
Top – Apricot via New Look | Jeans – Zara | Shoes – Marks & Spencer | Belt – ASOS | Chocker – Accessorize
On a lighter note, I’ve lost count of how many bardot tops I own. It feels like a lot. They are just so easy to wear, and your chest/shoulder area is a really flattering bit to have on show amiright? This floral beaut is from Apricot @ New Look (Another shout out to Mumma etc for spotting this) – it’s always the spontaneous buys that are the best. I love the huge bell sleeves on this, although, I wouldn’t recommend going out for a curry in this. Serious danger of sleeve dippage.