If you read my ‘Dear Anxiety‘ post last week, I just wanted to say thank you. After publishing it, I received such an incredible response. It wasn’t easy for me to post and I made the decision to share it on my personal Facebook page too. This resulted in not only messages of good wishes, but also people sharing their own experiences and telling me how much my post had helped them. It has made me realise how many people keep their mental health problems hidden inside, and just how many people battle anxiety or other problems. Every single message, tweet and comment I receive gave me such a boost and I’ve felt more like me than I have in weeks. Opening up has helped me so much, but it’s also helped others. And that’s the most amazing thing.
I guess that brings me nicely on to the subject of this post: me, myself and I. Now is the time of year when my social media feeds are filled with the typical ‘new year, new me’ resolutions posts. Which is amazing. Every day is a new opportunity to become a better version of yourself, and I salute those who strive to be better. But change isn’t for me in 2017.
I’ve had a long hard think about my resolutions this year. I tend to make goals, instead of resolutions, as I find those more fulfilling and easier to achieve. After sharing my experience of anxiety, it made me realise that it doesn’t matter if I don’t have a new years resolution this year. Instead, I should have a focus, and at the moment, that focus needs to be me. Setting resolutions for change is too big a leap for me right now. With my anxiety slowly getting better day by day, baby steps are the way forward. Here’s why it’s time to put yourself first.
Be your own best friend
It sounds horrendously selfish, especially if you value those around me so much, but at the end of the day, one of the people you can rely most upon, is yourself. I had a real light-bulb moment on the phone to a friend this week and she gave me some invaluable advice that I’m going to keep in my pocket and pass on. Whatever you’re going through, try and get through it by yourself. Support from others in invaluable, but if you rely on other people to make you feel better, it’s going to take longer to heal, especially if people let you down. Ultimately, you are the one who can help you get through this.
Learn to love yourself
“Treat yourself as you would treat someone you love dearly.” That’s not a direct quote, and don’t ask me where it’s from, but it’s definitely something I’ve seen somewhere… But isn’t it so right? You wouldn’t deny your friend a day off if they were really ill, or a night in if that’s all they were feeling really down. Exactly. I’ve found the first step to loving myself a bit more is listening to my mind and body, because it might be trying to tell you something.
This weekend I had absolutely no plans. And that’s okay. Going from a fairly unstructured student life, to work five days a week has made me appreciate downtime so much more. It’s okay to spend the morning in your pajamas, or just indulge in a film marathon. ‘Me-time’ should also mean working on yourself too. Go to a yoga class, go for a long walk by yourself or take yourself out for a coffee break. Do something you love. But also value the days where the hours just stretch out in front of you, with no responsibilities or commitments. Take the day off from that to-do list, and don’t feel guilty.
Will you be making the effort to focus on yourself this year?
What I’m wearing
F&F jumper | M&S jeans | La Redoute ankle boots | Kate Spade x Minnie Mouse bag